Idealization and devaluation form the oscillating core of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), manifesting as “splitting”—a primitive defense where the other is all-good or all-bad. In NPD, idealization serves self-aggrandizement: the partner is “love-bombed” with excessive praise and mirroring to secure narcissistic supply, creating an addictive pedestal. The narcissist flips from intense expressions of love to devaluation, weaponizing contempt, silence, and attachment to gain superiority, as these tactics inherently destabilize his victim by causing oxytocin and dopamine withdrawal symptoms, fostering dependency.
Devaluation erupts abruptly: ghosting enforces erasure, lying distorts reality (gaslighting). In NPD, the pivot often stems from narcissistic injury.
This swing is not mere moodiness but a structural fracture in self-cohesion. Narcissist then point to the victim as “unstable” and assert himself as the more stable, knowing partner. Unbeknownst to most narcississt, however, is that power and control experts transparently understand this play and it is well documented in scholarly archives.
Strategically, recognize the pattern early: love-bombing lacks mutuality, devaluation lacks proportionality.