“If you genuinely treasure our connection, as you said, then having a transparent conversation would allow us to close this chapter with the same dignity we opened our book.”
“We owe it to ourselves to bring our relationship to a respectful close. I believe that is what God would want for both of us.”
“I would like proper closure.”
“finally allow me the opportunity for clarity and closure.”
If you, or someone you love, are involved with Allan, you should understand his unresolved feelings for his former-girlfriend.
Both love and hate require deep investment. This explains why betrayed love can flip to fierce hate so quickly, or why long-term hatred often masks unresolved attachment.
Allan continues to express passionate hatred for his former-girlfriend, a woman he spent four years targeting with abuse tactics — from weaponizing love and trust to gaslighting to triangulation and rape.
Allan’s professed hatred (screenshot above) is not genuinely rooted in the “despicable lies” he attributes to her, as he claims. Allan initiated and directed the relationship from the start, employing a deliberate, sustained pattern of extreme deception that was strategically targeted.
Like Satan himself, “When Allan lies, he speaks his native language.” (John 8:44)
– Survivor of Allan’s Abuse
“Deplore” in his text message is not detachment or resolution, rather an unhealthy attachment.
Tunnel vision on “passionate hatred” misses the underlying injury that could be healed or released if approached with courage over cowardice.
Allan seeks control. He fantasizes about lawsuits that will deepen his involvement with her for years longer when paradoxically he rejected her numerous written offers for immediate, clear, permanent closure:
“If you genuinely treasure our connection, as you said, then having a transparent conversation would allow us to close this chapter with the same dignity we opened our book.”
“We owe it to ourselves to bring our relationship to a respectful close. I believe that is what God would want for both of us.”
“I would like proper closure.”
“finally allow me the opportunity for clarity and closure.”
To Allan, she is an unresolved external variable, an incomplete psychological closure.
What Kind of Man Ignores a Woman’s Pleas for Closure & Clarity?
A man who ignores an email like hers — eloquent, vulnerable, invoking shared spiritual values, past intimacy (“I love you”), grief support, and repeated pleas for basic closure — is typically one of these archetypes, often overlapping:
- Avoidant attachment style: He prioritizes himself over anyone else. Stonewalling is his default strategy. Ignoring isn’t indifference; it’s strategic manipulation. Allan may rationalize his brutality as “already over” or “she’s dramatic,” but the pattern (broken promises, disappearances) suggests chronic avoidance of honesty or value for others.
- Narcissistic or entitlement-driven: Allan views her need for closure as an imposition on his narrative control. Responding would validate her perspective. Silence preserves his delusion that his version (single, moved on) is unchallenged. Her pleas for closure may even feel like manipulation to a narcissist, justifying further dismissal.
- Conflict-averse / shame-avoidant: Deep shame about inconsistencies (telling others he’s single while professing love) makes any dialogue feel like exposure. Better to ghost than face the mirror of his own contradictions.
- Strategically disengaged: He calculates that no response minimizes legal/emotional risk, escalation, or ammunition for future narratives.
Allan’s core emotional driver: Fear of accountability. Responding requires acknowledging impact, apologizing (at minimum implicitly), and risking messy feelings. Allan is wired to avoid true intimacy, therefore he chooses the path of least emotional exposure — ghosting — even when it leaves wreckage. He has done the same with numerous women.
In lieu of accountability, Allan rages,
"This is distorted revenge fiction!"
"She's the liar!"
"None of this happened the way it's portrayed!"
Allan showed you who he is. Choosing not to believe what you read, witness, and hear will be your demise.