Why Survivors Need Awareness

Abusers often project a public persona of strength and confidence to mask deep-seated insecurities, a behavior that becomes more pronounced under public scrutiny. This curated image—whether through charm, dominance, or displays of control—serves as a shield to hide vulnerabilities. In private, their insecurity may manifest as manipulation or aggression to maintain power over others, but in public, they double down on this “strong & happy” facade to deflect criticism or exposure. This dynamic is rooted in their fear of being seen as inadequate, driving them to craft an image that demands admiration rather than authenticity.

“Va a mi gym y se clava mirando a las morras como si fuera deporte. La neta, cómo nos echa ojo está bien creepy. Le decimos de broma ‘el galán’, pero la verdad nos da mala vibra, entonces tratamos de andar en bola cuando está por ahí. No es normal.” –Afectada

The intensification of this behavior under scrutiny often stems from an abuser’s need to maintain control over their narrative. When challenged or exposed, their insecurity fuels defensive tactics like exaggerated displays of confidence to preserve their carefully constructed persona. For example, an abuser might respond to criticism with grandiose boasts or public displays of authority to reassert dominance and suppress doubts about their character. This pattern not only protects their fragile self-image but also manipulates how others perceive them, making it harder for their abusive behavior to be recognized or addressed.

Abuse survivors must understand this behavior to recognize the disconnect between an abuser’s public image and their private actions. Awareness empowers survivors to break free from the manipulation, rebuild trust in their own perceptions, and seek support without being swayed by the abuser’s carefully crafted persona. By understanding this dynamic, survivors can better navigate their healing journey and protect themselves from further harm.

Awkward attempts at public displays of normalcy or success

Each new “I’m strong” post looks like damage control.  The more he fights to maintain control of his image, the more the performance exposes his weakness.

He has no real path to recover his image without confronting the truth — and he won’t. Particularly as he surrounds himself with enablers rather than those who help him accept responsibility and transform for the betterment of self, his victims, and his community.

See Educación for more information in Spanish.

For Survivors
We know the journey from shock to denial to realization to anger to recovery. If you need support along your journey, we are committed to protecting your identity. Reach out to us by email.

Note on Transparency:
In the interest of accuracy and fairness, We will publish any credible counter-narrative or evidence Allan Alexander Amador Cervantes wishes to provide in response to the information on this site. As of the date of this publication, he has not requested removal or correction of any content.