The Anatomy of Weaponized Love
Weaponized love is not gender-specific, though it often follows patriarchal scripts.
It operates by exploiting our most sacred human need: to belong.
It sounds like this (actual text messages from Allan in 2024):
- “Since the day I met you, our connection is even beyond ourselves. I love you and I cherish and relish all of your being.”
- “I always felt it and so to this day, as well as I love you since the very first time I saw you to this day, with an indescribable strength and passion.”
- “I am grateful for your love and kindness. I feel you, I always have. I love you, regardless of time and distance, you are with me and I am with you, darling.”
- “You are so important and valuable to me, beyond what I can express. I love you deeply and passionately.”
The messages all look like a normal love affair, right?
The author, Allan Alexander Amador Cervantes, was intimately involved with another woman at the time he sent these messages. Additionally, at this time, he was leading a third elderly woman to believe she was his love interest. And also inviting two other elderly woman on dates.
Weaponized attachment mirrors narcissistic abuse cycles (idealize-devalue-discard).
This is why it is important to view domestic violence in context. As stand alone messages, there is no alarm in an established trusting relationship. In context, we see a psychopathology and serious harm to the target.
The next step follows the typical abuse cycle and involves devaluation and discard. See Pattern Evidence & Case Study for live example.