Gigolo

A Mother’s Heartfelt Warning: Beware the Gigolo Allan Alexander Amador Cervantes

As Americans, we are so incredibly fortunate. We tend to forget just how fortunate we are until we come across cases like Allan Alexander Amador Cervantes.

Maternal Instinct Meets Risk-Free Romance

Allan can seem like a little boy at times—someone who needs extra care and attention. His puppy-like need for basic training often fuels the older woman’s attraction: a deep-seated urge to nurture the “young child,” mold his growth, and open doors he couldn’t reach alone. It’s maternal instinct repurposed, blending pity with purpose.

Yet biology imposes its own logic. Past menopause, we’re no longer fertile, eliminating any risk of pregnancy with a partner who lacks the resources our grown children’s father provided. The encounter with Allan stays safely recreational—no long-term stakes, no unintended heirs. Without fertility risk, prenups or estate planning still matter; his “little boy” charm doesn’t exempt him from inheritance claims or alimony if we are not careful.

The age gap amplifies our control (sexual, financial, emotional, social), but it can breed resentment if he matures and seeks parity. Public judgment often labels us a “cougar” and him our “toy boy,” pressuring us to over-compensate with gifts and leniency.

Allan is so ashamed of the power-imbalance truth that he invented an astounding alter-reality: He tells people that I used him for financial support!. Allan’s absurd fantasy world first hit me as a complete shock. Until I realized…this is HIS truth. His confession. His motive unveiled.

I don’t blame him, really. What would I do if I were in his shoes?

Possible HSAM

Upon meeting Allan and discovering his near-perfect autobiographical memory—coupled with obvious intellectual underperformance—I delved into research on hyperthymesia and related conditions. To be clear: I am not qualified to diagnose Allan.

Allan reports he has never been formally evaluated, though his mother recalls recognizing a “condition” in early childhood. As a mother—and as an American with access to vast resources for my child—this revelation saddened me profoundly. It struck me as tragic that the sole intervention Allan received was segregation into special-needs classes, a stigmatizing approach that may have isolated rather than empowered. Evidence-based alternatives—such as acceleration, individualized mentorship, or twice-exceptional (2e) programs designed for neurodivergent children—could have unlocked his potential early on.

Raised amid chronic infidelity, boundary violations, poverty, and scant intellectual support, Allan faced structural barriers that stifled any real shot at stability. When we met, he spoke in repetitive loops, recycling phrases endlessly—yet astonishingly, no one in his inner circle had ever flagged or addressed it. After I gently raised the issue, he curtailed the habit in weeks. I observed the same neglect in addressing chronic halitosis—despite an odor noticeable across the room lasting more than three months, no one in his inner circle raised the issue. Instead I was the one to offer health-related solutions. That was a family red flag to me: Neglect.

HSAM + Low IQ + Lying (Updated Research)

What I learned in my research, however, is that there is often an inverse relationship between highly superior autobiographical memory (HSAM) and intelligence quotient (IQ)—the two must not be conflated. Allan possess extraordinary recall alongside lower IQ. *See HSAM core research below.

This profile, moreover, triggers ripple effects: chronic lying.

HSAM + low IQ + unchecked deception frequently signals deeper neurodivergence or trauma adaptations.

IQ matters beyond mere intellectual stimulation in conversation; it underpins reliable decision-making that safeguards your well-being—choices weighed with foresight, not impulsivity that endangers safety or sanity. Chronic, years-long, passionate love-bombing multiple women in parallel, for example, represents extremely poor decision-making that causes extreme harm to self and others.

The link crystallizes through HSAM’s unforgiving lens: every detail etched permanently, yet low IQ impairs the executive function needed to contextualize, synthesize, or edit those memories into coherent narratives. When gaps arise—social failures, traumas, or simple inconsistencies—the mind, starved of analytical scaffolding, plugs them with impulsive fabrications. Allan concedes no one challenges him; this unchallenged loop reinforces the lies, embedding them deeper until deception is reflexive, deceiving others and himself alike. You can see that in Pattern Evidence.

His self-victimization, framing himself as persecuted while creating of his own cage, is pitiable. He perceives no personal power, a trait mirrored in his social media: gym selfies flexing “strong arms.” Truly empowered men I know eschew such performative masculinity.

All of these things make Allan an interesting study, if that is your inclination. But you need to understand this, and I say this with the most seriousness I can muster: Allan lacks the intellectual architecture for a stable relationship roadmap. Insecurity about his masculinity blocks truthfulness with you or within. Dismiss me as a bitter ex if you wish—that’s your prerogative and risk. Yet psychological patterns and voluminous evidence point to one motive: financial escape. He seeks a lifeline from his circumstances and will lie without bounds to secure it. All the while, aligning himself with a unique version of Christianity that prioritizes manipulation, deceit, and lack of accountability.

As you contemplate your current relationship with Allan, he is contemplating who he can manipulate for financial gain next. This is the heartbreaking truth.

Your Future

If you stay with Allan, your journey with him will be marked with violence: infidelity; avoidance; mismanagement; lack of leadership; silent treatment; disappearances, manipulation, lying, lashing out at you for your demand for basic courtesy. He is managing a lot of lies, and that in and of itself is stressful.

You might think it’s kinda novel dating a guy with low IQ and high memory. You might be flattered that he remembers everything about you, everything you ever did together, what you wore, and more. And he listens intently. He compliments you on everything. He doesn’t argue with you, but instead yields to you in a compliant manner like a dog. He plays the role of the perfect gentleman, opening your door and walking on the proper side of the sidewalk. And, of course, he frequently tells you he loves you in passionate terms.

But underneath the compliance, the memory, the listening, the flattery, the “love,” there is a motive. And that motive is not love. It’s escape. Escape from his real life with your money. And thus he prostitutes himself to you while suppressing his rage and resentment at your foolishness.

Dating Allan is a risk. High risk. You will be slow-boiled like a frog. No reasonably minded 44-year-old has respectable motives for dating a woman 20 or 30 years his senior. Wake up. Allan is NOT your equal.

An additional sexual deviance component underlies Allan’s pathology. Sexual psychology is not my background, but we have an expert in this field contributing to our understanding and helping unveil the patterns and relationships to dominance and control.

Protect Yourself

If you decide to ignore me, at the very minimum, protect your money. Protect your assets. Do not spend money on him. Force him to pay, and you will see how fast he runs.

My second warning, which you cannot ignore: Protect your children, even if they are grown, and protect your grandchildren. I cannot overstate this urgently enough. You do not want your family exposed to what is about to unfold. Don’t take the risk.

Third, avoid tunnel vision. I implore you to radically interrogate yourself about the power imbalances at play.

Lastly, you don’t know what you are dealing with, but your intuition does. Journal red flags. Contemplate: What voids does “rescuing” Allan fill?

Self-Subordination

Allan’s face and posture in photos—luxury settings he cannot afford, whether beside you or me—radiate the aura of embodied inferiority. His posing in unearned opulence mirrors internalized subordination.

He subordinates himself to be elevated by you, then poses in the elevation to attract the next savior.

He was raised in a home where his father never married his mother, where three children grew up watching love stay unofficial and money stay scarce. That boy learned: value = proximity to power you don’t own. So he borrows opulence the way others borrow confidence, draping it over the wound of “not enough” until the photo is taken and the bill arrives.

Mexico taught him Americans hold the keys; America taught him Mexicans hold the shame. Standing beside a white woman in Hailey or Laguna Beach collapses both lessons into one shot: “See? I belong.”

The subordination isn’t to you; it’s to the myth that his worth must be imported.

What happens if Allan deletes the borrowed luxury imagery and believes the man underneath is worthy? That’s the terror he postpones with every snapshot. And the freedom you reclaim by no longer holding the camera.

So the real question is not “why does he feel inferior?” It’s “why does the performance of inferiority keep paying off so well?” The answer: Manipulation, lies, false personas.

At the End of the Day

Allan is a gigolo. A predatorial gigolo. Everything he tells you is a lie (Pattern Evidence) aimed at gaining access to your money, your lifestyle, and better opportunities. He lies in the face of indisputable evidence. He lies when the truth serves you and him better. He invents alter realities. Allan’s lying is pathological, not incidental.

Like you, I pity Allan—for his untreated condition, his fractured childhood, the structural failures that left his gifts untapped. But pity is a trap: it blinds smart women to the predator beneath the “little boy.”

Stay, and you’ll wake to relentless emotional sabotage—lies that erode your reality, decisions that gamble your safety, finances siphoned under false promises. His chaos isn’t accidental; it’s the inevitable fallout of HSAM-fueled confabulation, low-IQ impulsivity, and zero accountability. Protect yourself first—walk away before his cage becomes yours.

I have done everything in my power—research, reflection, writing, this warning—to shield other women from the fallout. Ignore the truth at your own peril.